| [005] Saturday 1 August 1999. |
[Sat 1 Aug / 11:13pm] |
[ WARDED TO SELF. ]
I think I see the point of tomorrow's ball, but I really don't think it's going to work. No one's really going to want to mingle with everyone else -- I know I want nothing to do with Pure-bloods like Malfoy and his gang of bigots, and forcing me to go to a silly ball with them won't change that. It seems sort of odd to kick off a mandatory work programme with a dance too, even though it'd be fun as long as it didn't get out of hand -- I love the job I'm going to have, but honestly, I'd rather the Ministry put the money to throw a fancy dance like this into DMLE resources, or reparations to Muggle-borns, or something else that's more useful than the sort of pointless parties purists would throw for themselves and where everyone's probably just going to get drunk and make fools of themselves anyway.
I don't think I'm going to bother going, and even if I did, I'd have to go alone anyway. I'm not going to ask out the one known lesbian here just because she's the only other one I'm aware of, and I'm not going to ask a boy either just to have an 'acceptable' partner, or one at all. And I wonder if Penelope would want to come along to see if her old boyfriend would be there, even though he's a -- [ END WARDS. ]
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| [004] Thursday 23 July 1999. |
[Thu 23 Jul / 12:25pm] |
[ WARDED TO SELF. ]
I was really happy to get my first choice, but the more I think about, the more I wonder if this really is the right choice or not. I mean, I'm really excited about Hit-wizard training and all the people I'll be able to help when I'm done. But what if all I'll really be doing is helping the Ministry crack down on these MLF people because they're too 'radical' when the Ministry wants to be 'moderate', rather than going after people like Death Eaters? That's not the way I want to help people, especially Muggle-borns like my sister and myself who were wronged by the last Ministry and its laws. Then again, I don't have to be a Hit-witch forever, right? And I'd really hope if I have a problem with something, my boss will listen!
Maybe I shouldn't even be writing this when this journal is from the Ministry. What if they ask for it back and read all of this? But if they fire me for maybe disagreeing with what they're doing, then they're no better at all than the Death Eaters' Ministry, right? The whole 'our way is the only right way, and you can shove it if you don't like it' thing. I don't think this Ministry would think of throwing me into Azkaban or killing me for it, but still! [ END WARDS. ]
Did everyone else hear about their WEI assignments today? I just got my owl, and I'm really happy to say I'll be training as a Hit-wizard! Or Hit-witch, that is -- maybe a lot people assume only tomboys are the only girls who'd want to work in the DMLE, but I'm proud of being a girl myself and I'm not going to pretend I'm not one or stop liking feminine things, and I'd hope others think the same! Why is it that the Hit-wizards still use the male term like that when Aurors and the MLES don't anyway, as if they're all boys or between the two, it's the more important one that gets to be used to refer to everyone in the programme, even if they're girls? I always thought one of the things the magical world got right was the way women have been equals with men for much longer. But maybe it's just a change that hasn't happened yet and will soon enough -- it's about time, I think!
Anyway, I hope everyone else got what they wanted -- and if not, like I said before, it's not the end of the world! It's just the first job of many for a lot of us -- you still have your whole life ahead of you to do something else, and that means what you really want too. And if you didn't get into what you wanted this time, you can put together a game-plan and do something about it so you will get it next time. I'm sure a lot of the hiring people wouldn't mind if you owled them to ask what you could have done better for your application and interview -- you'd know what to work on for when you try again and you'll show them just how truly dedicated you are to their department or shop! If you just sit around and complain about it, you'll never get anywhere, and you'll just prove them right.
Now that's out of the way -- who else is going to be a Hit-witch/wizard? Or in the DMLE at all, seeing as we're probably all going to have to work with or at least see each other a lot over the next few years and we may as well get along now.
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| [003] Wednesday 22 July 1999. |
[Wed 22 Jul / 9:42pm] |
Maybe threatening graffiti wasn't the best way to get the message across, but at least whoever was behind it got everyone's attention about something important? It's only been a year since the war ended and there are still Death Eaters and purists out there who haven't paid for their crimes yet -- however much people want to forget and act like the war never happened. You can't hide behind parties forever and pretend nothing -- We can't be complacent about this sort of thing or it'll just happen all over again like with the last war, and I don't think any of us on either side want another war with more death and misery -- not now, not ever. Although if it's the only way we'll ever get rid of purists, then maybe it's not such a bad idea if it came to that.
Also, was Obliviation really necessary in this case? It's not like Muggles are going to jump to the conclusion that it must be magical graffiti, and that there must be a magical world, etc. We They'd have their own ways of explaining it away, after all. They're not stupid, and we shouldn't assume they think the same way witches and wizards do, as if --
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| [002] Sunday 19 July 1999. |
[Sun 19 Jul / 7:27pm] |
[ WARDED TO SELF. ]
All this hiring stuff going on right now makes me wonder if blood status is going to be taken into account at all, even if it's not something the Ministry would be willing to admit. You'd think that after the outrage about kids with Death Eater connections being guaranteed good jobs people used to have to fight for, they'd balance out the inequalities and favouritism You-Know-Who's Ministry had in place over a year ago by favouring Muggle-borns in order to right those wrongs. It's the least they can do when people like myself had to spend a year in hiding or in Azkaban like my sister was. But no, Pure-bloods get to enjoy that one year of calling the shots -- after centuries of influence, at that -- and they still get to enjoy the same opportunities as everyone else without really being punished or knowing what it's like to be treated like shit. Then again, I doubt the government is as progressive as it'd like to think it is, and they probably want to win over purists anyway so they'll have their support and money later.
I don't know what I really want though. I do think something has to be done to give Muggle-borns who have been discriminated against a leg up, but at the same time, I want to know I got a position I wanted on my own merits. I still feel sort of weird knowing that maybe the only reason why I got Head Girl last year, even after a year away from school, was because I'm a Muggle-born Hufflepuff when the last two were Pure-blood Slytherins and Hermione really should've been Head Girl for her year rather than that Parkinson twat. I want to be a Hit-witch because I really was the best applicant for it, not because the Ministry feels sorry for having Muggle parents, which is patronising rubbish.
I guess if I had my way, kids with ties to dark magic wouldn't be allowed to do the programme at all until they've paid their dues back to society and understood what it's like to be really discriminated. And if I can't have that, then if hiring came down to a Muggle-born and a Pure-blood who were both equally qualified, it must go to the Muggle-born. It's only fair when the Pure-blood's probably already had a lot of favouritism and connections through Mummy and Daddy to get what they want anyway.
I wonder if anyone else other than the MLF protesters feels the same way, but I guess they're all too busy getting drunk at parties and worrying about their own interviews to care about the bigger picture. There have to be other Muggle-borns who care though. I don't like thinking people who should know what it's like wouldn't care about this. [ END WARDS. ]
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